I am not about to sit here and tell you that I know what happened with Woody Allen or his adopted daughter.
What I will say is this. We live in a rape culture and it makes me sick. It makes victims afraid to come forward.
Very few people on here, and even fewer in real life know about this, but today I’m baring it all. Today my goal is that other victims learn that it’s okay to speak out. Here is my “Woody Allen” story. Detail for detail. I will warn you now this might be triggering for some people.
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I was a month shy of 18, in the home stretch of my senior year of high school, and flying high- with one exception.
I was a virgin (still am actually). My friends were pressuring me, making me feel bad that I hadn’t given up my V card yet when they all had months or even years ago.
I knew I liked BDSM. I had been on sites that I was technically too young to be on… I downloaded WhatsApp- a “meet locals” chat thing- on my phone.
There was a guy on there who was cute, 22, only lived about 20 minutes from me, and his profile said he was a Dom so I sent him a message.
We talked for a few days. He was charming and he was interesting. That was good enough for me. There are things that I now recognize as red flags, but at that point I didn’t know better. He asked if I wanted to meet and go to a movie. I said sure.
February 12, 2012 around 7pm I went to meet this guy. I did get into his car to ‘talk’ of my own volition, which was stupid on my part, but still, had he been a good guy what happened next wouldn’t have happened.
We did talk. For about five minutes. Then he reached to tuck a stray hair behind my ear, and kissed me. I didn’t mind that much… and he did know I was inexperienced and upset about my friends making fun of me so I figured maybe he was just trying to make me feel a little better.
When his hand reached for my waistband I pushed him back a little and said “Daniel. No.” He didn’t listen. He yanked my pants down, pushed me down onto the back seat (where I hit my head on his door) and forced his way into my underwear. I kept telling him no and stop but he didn’t listen. He just kissed me hard and kept going. I felt like he was tearing my vagina apart with his fingers.
My purse was on the floor. I don’t really remember how but I managed to reach it and pull my phone out. I had “9-1” dialed when he noticed. He jumped back and screamed “you stupid bitch what the hell are you doing” I told him I’d said stop and he wouldn’t he countered with “you’re a submissive. This is what you wanted bitch, get the hell out of my car.”
I told my cousin, and I told my parents, but I begged them not to press charges. I couldn’t have handled rehashing it over and over in court and having a defending attorney try to make it feel like it was my fault.
I didn’t talk for two weeks. To anyone. I walked around weird because I was still really sore. The bastard had made me bleed.
He wasn’t a Dominant. He was a monster. The difference is he didn’t care if he had consent or not.
I spent a fucking year and a half convinced that the entire thing was MY fault. I went and met him at night. I got into his car. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going. The thing is it wasn’t my fault, at all.
SadisticGames and sadisticsgirl will tell you they met in a similar manner, at night, alone. The difference in SG and daniel is that SG is a good guy. I finally realized that it wasn’t my fault what happened. It was Daniel’s, because had I met a good guy that night, had I met someone like SG, none of that ever would have happened.
My only regret is that I didn’t press charges. I catch myself wondering far too often how many other young, desperate, naive girls he took advantage of because I didn’t go to the cops.
I didn’t tell you this because I want you to feel sorry for me. I told you this because 1 every time I tell this story I get a little stronger, talking about it helps me get through it and 2 I want other victims out there to realize it’s okay to talk about it, and that you’ll heal a lot better when you do. My inbox is open and I’ll reply privately if you need me to.
Takes courage to share a personal experience like this. Definitely a worthy read for Littles and Submissives to remind them that, unfortunately, there are men out there masquerading as Doms who think the role of a dominant is to take what isn’t freely given.